Bullied Nostalgia: The Witches

0:00 I've never seen this movie before. Wait, is it from my? Past. Now my nightmares have been unearthed on the riversness down your broadcast. Hello everyone, it's the spooky time of year, so we at the Bullied Nostalgia Podcast use this as an opportunity to revisit movies that gave us nightmares as kids. My name's Tim, and I'm joined by Chance. Howdy. Kai. Oh my God. Hello. And John? I'll never have a shower again. Thank you, John. If you like what we do here, feel free to subscribe and or reach out.

0:52 Our e-mail address is [email protected] and you can find [email protected] by searching Bully Pod. Today's episode is about the witches. Our plan is to revisit each of our childhood traumas, but this one is on the books for the Halloween season because it literally was repressed nostalgia. I had forgotten all about it until recently. So let's dive into it. Before we talk much about this movie, you guys, do you at least understand why this was traumatic to me as a kid? Yeah. I would say normally this time of year we make fun someone's bad choice of.

1:39 Nightmares or what? This was scary. This was actually genuinely scary. I think a child would be frightened for the rest of time by this. Yeah. It's scarier than your CGI monkeys from Jumanji. It is objectively scary. I don't know if I'd say that. It's just I don't know if this movie's trying not to be a kids horror movie or not. It is trying to be horror. But it's so slapstick. Yeah. Okay, so I'll describe this movie a little bit and then we can really get into it. This is a 1990 film based on a 1983 novel by Roald Dahl, though he would criticize the film as its ending differed from his book, which we can talk about more later if you'd like.

2:29 For people who are unfamiliar with Roald Dahl, he wrote tons of classics, everything from BFG to James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and more. So this was definitely right for Hollywood, if that's a word. All of his other stuff is getting movies. Of course, this would too. But this would tragically be the last movie that Jim Henson worked on before his death, and Roald Dahl also passed away that same year. This movie's cursed. There are definitely some cursed things about.

3:14 Are we sure that when they died there wasn't a missing body and a mouse standing where they? Jim Henson is probably in a painting somewhere. Chance. That's a great segue. Can you walk us through the script of this movie? The movie follows Luke, whose parents are fringed right off the beginning. You mean by fringed? Killed off screen. Thank you. Like the famous Green Lantern comic in which Green Lantern's girlfriend was killed off screen early to motion. So his parents are fringed real quick, and then him and his grandma go to this hotel and the whole idea is that they're supposed to go and enjoy the time, but they actually come upon the Wiccan of all witches in London, and after a run in with them, Luke is turned into a teen tiny mouse.

4:07 And so now it is up to Mouse Luke and his grandma to stop the witches from turning all children in the world mice. This movie is weird. Like really weird is. A strange movie. I'll tell you what. From the moment this movie started, I felt like I needed to wake up. I mean, wake up to look around you in the world. No, everything about it felt wrong. The opening scene was like this plain drone shot of some mountain. Firstly, the movie never has anything to do with snow or mountain. Also the camera was played at like 100 times speed but there was no camera stabilization so it was just constantly shaking around.

4:49 Oh, it's so I love it. Wake up, guy. And then also the movie starts with this incredibly hard to hear narration of grandma talking to her kid about all the ways he could die horrifically just for like hours on end. This is how you could die to a witch. And then the kid goes to sleep immediately after. Like that's how that kid gets nares. You know what does this nail? Is strangely similar to John. Is the grandma telling the little boy about these fictional creatures that could kill him and all the mythology attached to it?

5:23 Really reminded me of Troll 2, how the grandpa is telling the kid all of the evil things that goblins do and disguising it as the creepiest bedtime story of all time. Essentially the grandma has some kind of history of her own with the witches, so that's how she knows about them. It's actually a super cool take on witches. I thought that was. Oh, yes, yes, yes. No. Sure, adjectives. Here we have a list of notes about witches. Do you want me to go through them? Sure. So features that witches have They are bald and they wear itchy wigs.

6:02 They have no toes, so they wear square shoes. They have human face masks, purple eyes, an incredible sense of smell, and gloves. This is them have human face masks. That is the description that the grandmother gave at the start of the movie. I wrote these down at the start of the movie, so I'm assuming that all of them look like that or look worse under their masks. And they hate children, but we have no idea why. Well, no. No, no, it's because children smell like dogs. Droppings to them so they just have to get rid of the smell.

6:39 Is that the whole point? Do you want a world that doesn't smell like dog poop? I think they equally hate children and dog poop witches. They're on dog poop cleaning and children. Verdure I want to say I appreciate that this movie takes it from a very mythological standpoint. I feel like with modern tellings of stories, sometimes shows get like really bogged down trying to make things make sense. Well, the greatest fairy tales don't make sense at all. So I do appreciate those movies. Like this is what witches are.

7:11 This is what they do. There's no reason why just. Watch out for them. It doesn't help though that spoiler alert at the end of the movie it's shown that if a witch does good things, they lose all of their terrible traits. I do know. What that means is that the world's smelling like dog poop. That's a choice. They they don't. That's their job. They decided that they wanted to do that, I guess. Yes, that's to say at the very end of the movie there's one witch who essentially turns to the good side.

7:42 And Chance was explained earlier that Luke, the main character, gets turned into a mouse by the witches. But this witch at the very end of the movie does a good act and turns him back to a human boy and. Then she loses all of her witchy traits. Yes, which to be fair, Kim was mentioning earlier. That's the big change that the movie made from the book. In the book, Luke stayed a mouse and. Then they go witch hunting as a mouse. And this this idea that a witch could turn good wasn't necessarily in the original book which.

8:14 I think is the right call because that would have been such an unsatisfying ending. I'm being honest. What? OK, hold on. Yes, he wouldn't be a human boy anymore, but did you see his cool carnival setup that he had and train tracks? Racetrack was awesome. Yeah, he fly in on an airplane to receive a package. There's so many great toys there. He's riding around in a Lego space train set and it's built onto a zip line that's made out of constructs, which was a building toy that I had when I was little.

8:53 And of course, he's staying in the Ghostbusters Firehouse toy. Tons of great toys that he now gets to experience from a whole different perspective. That's peak 80s cool. Tim, is that to say that you would have chosen to stay a mouse if you were in his shoes? The movie and the book both make it very clear that he has a very shortened lifespan. It depends if I was thinking like a kid or as an adult. There is kid 80s fantasy there of just like playing with cool toys as a smaller creature that. You think he would just be really disappointed when he got turned back into a human?

9:38 Yeah, well, you got man in the fire hall when he grew, so that's a tough toy to get back. Chance he's ended like snake dying in metal. Gears all. Thank you. Thank you. So the head witch in this movie was played by Angelica Houston. She would become famous shortly after this movie for being Morticia. In the Addams Family movies she is in many other things, but that would be her skyrocket to fame. At the time of this movie she was actually dating Jack Nicholson so he was regularly on set in England being all creepy weird.

10:23 I'm sure Jack Nicholson has such a weird, creepy like goblin face that I'm sure that that that some amount to this. And of course, we've got Rowan Atkinson in this movie who would become famous this year as Mr. Bean. How did you guys feel about seeing someone who embodies a certain character playing something completely different? It was. Really weird hearing him talk. Yeah, I was talking to my wife about it. Something's bad. And in fact he's quite good. It's just so unnerving to hear in something I'm not.

11:05 Used to and like the fact that he was kind of playing the character that you would root against. It did not feel right. Well, rooting against Kai and I made some comments while watching this movie. No one in this movie is likable. You are not rooting for anyone. Even Luke and his grandma are not nice and they pretty much blackmail the hotel to let them keep mice in their hotel room. OK as like fresh sets of eyes to this movie. What were your takeaways? Chance? What did you like or dislike about this movie?

11:45 What was a surprise to you? I really appreciate anything that Jim Henson does. The work is phenomenal. I really love the woman playing the head, which she's given that performance all she's got, and it's really entertaining. To that end, though, once again, I don't know what the purpose of this movie was. The movie, like Coraline, is meant to be a horror movie for kids, but I don't know what the intended purpose of this movie was. Is it supposed to be scary? Is it supposed to be slapstick times in this movie where I'm like oh this is so silly and weird.

12:20 Then there were other times like this is genuinely hard to watch. For example, there's one scene where one of the witches pushes a baby stroller with a baby in it down a Cliff, hoping it'll smash and die. And all the witches. Are like, oh, a baby, a baby falling till it's dead, Yeah. Literally like 20 women all cheering for the inevitable death of this baby. Like, wow, this is hard to watch. And then there's like, oh, they're turning into mice. I do a funny little spin and they CG squish and shrink and it's all funny enough and.

12:53 Then they turn into a terrifying bobble head of a creature that looks like it should never have been made. Yeah, weird. Real weird all around. I don't think this movie uses any CG Bruno. Turns into a mouse. It does. No, those are puppies, man. Chance I did research. There was no technology for that. Everything was practical effects. You're telling me that was practical effects? Yes, I wouldn't know how much. Nightmare puppets. Jim Henson Company has the ability to create creatures of your nightmares, as we've learned from our other Muppets episodes.

13:28 But yeah, I make this statement when I watch Jim Henson movies. Oh, I wonder when Jim Henson Company is going to be involved in this movie. Because when Jim Henson puppets are used, it's very obvious they go all out. And so from the start of this movie, I was like, I wonder when the puppets are going to be used. And I kept on saying that. And I was like, oh, I think the main kid, I think he's a Muppet. I think that's what's going on. But eventually we reached the point where the witches are having a counselor or whatever, and the main witch steps onto stage.

13:56 Now take off your face, take off your wigs. And then she takes off her face mask. It's like this horrifying creature that's like a long nose of loaded skin all over the place. And I'm like, yeah, that's Jim Henson. But then further, when the kid gets turned into a mouse, there's now a mouse puppet that's really well articulated. I wasn't expecting that at all. I did like that Yes. The mouse puppet was a massive improvement. There's actually two boys who turn into mice. Luke, the main character, and then there's another boy staying at the hotel named Bruno, who's the son of a wealthy couple, and Bruno's personality is that he likes to eat food.

14:39 I initially thought that Bruno was going to get killed as soon as he was transformed into a mouse to raise the stakes, but he actually became a really important character alongside Luke. Aren't you happy that that happened? Honestly, Bruno was a lot cuter as a mouse. He seemed a little bit more entitled as a human. Did he do anything in this movie? No. Yes. Eight things. Even when he got turned into a mouse, Luke did everything right. Before. He would dream of love parents that he was a. Mouse and then sat in a purse the entire movie.

15:14 Before he became a mouse, he nibbled on the edge of the cookies which Luke used as blackmail to lie to Rowan Atkinson and tell him that they had rats in the hotel. So you tell me. Necessary. Yeah, integral plot. Point Interesting in like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, there's also a kid whose personality is just eating. That was a big thing of the time. That you would write certain characters who just like to eat. Yeah, when he was first introduced, I was like, oh, we did not need a Ron Weasley in this, but that kind of character is in a lot of movies.

15:57 I would argue this movie does need a Ron Weasley because it needs a single likable character, even 1. Bruno, was your single likable? Character I don't know because. Any of the characters in the movies are likable. I found Luke. He was a bit of a timid boy before, but when he turned into a mouse, he became an action hero. He was like, Oh yeah, let's destroy all the witches. I got this. I'm super confident. Don't worry about me, Grandma. I got this handled. So that felt like a little bit of a character shift.

16:28 What do you think about giving a child 500 doses of your toxic brew? I think it's frankly wasteful. It's at 5 doses and it takes into effect immediately. What are the extra 495 going to do? Huh. And I think I was also wondering if the witches are really set on killing children. This seems like a really roundabout way to do it. The one which was like, I know let's poison them and the head, which is like, that's a terrible idea. We only use magic and so the. Reason why is because then there would be bodies and they would get caught if you know there were.

17:07 And as the bodies decay, they would stink. The whole purpose is to lower the stink factor on earth. We don't want stinky corpses. We don't want stinky dogs. Stinky. Value. What's the solution? Turn them into mice? Way less stinky. But to be clear, they didn't just turn children into mice, they also put them in paintings. No, they put one child in a painting and then there was a second painting where they erased an already drawn in person out. Of and that would not be very. Stinky Helen, are you trying to say that that made sense?

17:45 That they erased. An already drawn person out of a painting? No. No, but like Luigi's mansion has putting people in paintings. Are you going to tell me that Luigi's mansion doesn't make sense? And if you were to describe wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, if you were going to describe Luigi's Mansion in five words, I guarantee none of them would be stinky. This is true. This is true. To be clear at the start of the movie grandma is much younger and her friend Erica gets kidnapped by a witch and that friend eventually starts showing up in her families painting in the kitchen and she ages with the painting and disappears one day and.

18:27 Nobody about it. Yeah, this is happening. And. She. Dies. Yes, but Kylan, you're saying this like it makes sense. Is that what the? Gimmick is that witches have been around for a while so there are multiple ways that they have of killing children already. OK. So this is one of the ones that they use. It's basic. Science. I don't think witches suddenly come into existence. The maths all work out, John. You buy several candy stores, put the local businesses out of work, get all the kids to buy your candy, and then you lace it with one to 500 doses of a toxic chemical that turns them into mice.

19:11 It's very odd to me that the witches seem aware of the fact that the mice can speak and you convert them, but also think that that's less obvious than having a dead body of a child. I wouldn't make a statement though that except for like mosquitoes or something, mice are one of the animals. People shoot first, ask questions later. I think it's very hard to get somebody to take a second and listen to the. Mouse. OK but like what if a mouse is like hiding in a wall? Like they seem to have normal human voice.

19:40 Yes, when it makes you furry and smaller, it does not change your vocal cords. This is simple math you guys. So the mice like 90% vocal cord. Obviously that's where they keep the rest in their tail. Did you notice that his voice went up a tiny bit after his tail got chopped? Why did they put that in the movie? They chopped this kids tail off and then later he was like the butcher tried to chop my tail off. He did. The butcher did chop your tail off. What did this kid lose? Yeah, when he got turned back.

20:12 Into a human head when he became a normal child again. Good question. What is wild to me? Is that we never get any closure on the girl whose neck is turning into a mouse. Yeah. So. Oh. My gosh, that's a plot for. Those who don't know Mr. Bean, he's the hotel manager and he's getting his flirt on with one of his staff who's really terrified of mice. But she goes in to clean the head Witch's room finds her Formula 86, which is what turns children into mice, and she thinks that's a little bit of perfume, so she helps herself by dabbing it on her neck.

20:51 Mr. Bean goes in for a little bit of neck kiss later, only to find that she's developed fur in those spots. What do people think? Happened to her after this. So we know that a bottle is 500 doses and she definitely used a lot more than a few doses for that, right She. Didn't ingest it. Sure, but she did apply several doses to the outside of her body, on her hands and on her neck. Yes, Interesting. So I think I'll leave it at that. I was watching this with Emily and she said that's weird she's using the hotel guest's perfume and then I said I don't know I might use someone's perfume if they weren't around.

21:31 Isn't perfume and clone like a communal thing? What do you guys think? No, I think that this movie tried, you know it. And a lot of. Old movies try to enforce the fact that if you do something wrong, it will come back to bite you. So it's like, oh, she's stealing. So because of that, she's going to get turned into a blueberry. I mean, sorry, she's going to get turned into a mask. Wow. Really cranking at these. Roald Dahl, Yeah. I think that's just how this guy writes stuff. I think John was just trying to create controversy.

22:02 I don't think he would actually use someone's perfume if they weren't around. You. Haven't noticed not smelling like you, Tim. How do I smell John? What do I use to create this odor? So whatever's on my body right now, children. Dog poop, it's all the same. They rub children all over me. Children, that's so much worse. What do you think of this idea? Because the Gram explains that if the boy stays clean and showers, the witches can actually smell his dog poopiness better and so it's actually better for him not to shower.

22:38 What did you guys feel about that? The witches are like, oh man, something stinks in here, but at least it's not a child. And like if people are considered legal adults at different ages in different countries, is the smell based on the legal age of a minor? I think it wanes. OK, so like they smelled, they tried. Putting that baby off the Cliff and they all got real excited. I think we got more. Excited. Aside that, once again, this movie's at its best when it leans into the mythology of how it doesn't work.

23:12 You know, where it's like, they can smell kids. It's like, OK, what does that mean? I don't know. Are you a kid? That's all that matters. What is like art? Right now, twins and what rhythm is born right before midnight and the other one is born right after midnight legally? Would one of them mention something about a different movie real quick that might have spoils for a modern movie? Well, what's the movie? I might not want you to spoil it. OK, Do you care if I talk about weapons at all, Don? Yes, that movie just came out this week.

23:44 Are you planning to watch it? Yes. OK, then I won't mention anything. I didn't know you like horror movies drawn. Yes, I do. I'm the one who doesn't. Well, John, just, you know, weapons doesn't make sense, I think is where chance is going to go with that. No, what I wanted to say.

24:04 We don't go there chance so. I'm just doubling down on what I said before. I appreciate it when movies have a mythology they like to go for. So the more this movie was like, oh, they're witches, they're magic, you know, they do. Because they're magic. I. Appreciated that more. And it's like potholes. I like mythology. There's a. Difference. They also film a lot of real live mice. Yes, we mean some pretty. Wild Things and the mouse has an actual bottle tied around its tail. I tried to research if there was some animal cruelty claims but it doesn't seem like they took any heat for this movie.

24:42 I. Think the mice like that actually. Oh, did they? Did you see that mouse? Going through the circuits. He didn't want to turn into. What the animal cruelty people say is I think the mouse is having a good time. You see that? Mouse riding on that airplane. You see him in that Ghostbusters house. The mice are doing stunts. They're climbing on an antennae which are falling down and. And stuff, yeah. I am impressed though with how effective the mice stunts are. Yeah. And how will they blend into that?

25:11 You seen movies where dogs do stunts and it's like, wow, that's really impressive. They must have really trained those dogs. I didn't know you could train mice to this level. So I can tell you as someone who watched this movie as a child that I did not remember the mice stuff. That was not something that scarred me. The stuff that really traumatized me was all witch related. And what's funny about that is the director, Nicholas Rogue actually showed the original cut of this movie to his son, and his son was so scared that the director went back and cut all the scariest scenes.

25:55 So what do you guys think is missing from this movie? I'm guessing characters who ort witches did die on. Screen. Like John mentioned, he thought Bruno was going to die. I totally foresee a cut where Bruno does actually die. Yeah, the opening story, the grandma tells Luke about her friend, and it shows this little girl walking down an alley, getting kidnapped by a witch and putting for a meeting. And I'm just like, Oh my goodness. As a child, you're thinking really nice ladies cannot be trusted.

26:29 If they have gloves or wigs or itch or pinch their nose. I have to make sure that I don't shower or else they'll find me. What if they have purple in their eyes? If I'm eating a chocolate given to me, could that possibly have this formula on it? John, I won't fully agree with you right now. However, starting this movie, the grandma is like, these witches are super subtle. You have to have a teen eye or you won't even notice that they're there. Cut 10 minutes later and this the kid is playing in the treehouse and then a woman walks up and she was like, hello there, child.

27:04 She takes up her sunglasses and her eyes are like beacons of purple light. Would you happen to like my bar? He's. Like would you like a kid like the? Kid shakes his head and she was like, OK, what am I Snake? This is the most subtle witch. In the world. She knows what dreams this point of all. Time and then the kid starts calling out to his grandma and they were just like she can't hear. You bitches have been doing it wrong. They need to intimidate children. This movie definitely reiterated this whole stranger danger child abduction mentality that was really heavy when we were kids.

27:48 Don't take candy from a stranger. But I can tell you this for certain John. After this movie I checked so many women for Purple Eye. That was like my number one take away from this movie. Every person I would meet what color are their eyes getting? Close enough, Figure it out, then you're safe. For what? Maybe that was counterintuitive. Oh, they don't have purple eyes? I'll take their candy and jump in their car. So Tim, you would have been like 7 or 8 when this movie came out. Did you legitimate?

28:24 Like, is this one of these things where you know it's not true that there are these witches, but you're still maybe a little bit scared? Or were you fully bought in that this was real? Evil ladies having purple eyes. That definitely impacted me. I was not a confident and scare proof child. My nightmares were pretty infamous as a kid. You know, even still as an adult, there's those times when you have a dream that is just close enough to reality that when you wake up, you're like, oh, wait, what is reality?

28:59 And you start to question what of that dream could have happened. And you identify, OK, this is real. This isn't, this is fiction. This is something my brain just made-up. I didn't have the logic mechanisms in place. At 7 years old. I knew this was a fictional movie, but there was enough here that I was like, I'm probably not going to get turned into mice, but every good story is based on some amount of truth. I got to find these purple eyed women. When we were first watching this movie, I was like, I wonder what kind of movie this is?

29:36 And then she's telling the story about her friend who was taken by the witches, and it shows her walking down the. Alleyway, Oh I. Wonder what's going to happen, what magic is going to occur? Like some windows are going to shut on their own or that kind of thing. And then the woman just comes out and grabs her through the alleyway. I was like, oh, that's not a witch, that's a child pregnant. That's what's happening right now. It's like, I was so baffled by how just like boots on the ground, take the kid by force.

30:02 They really came into this movie not knowing at all what I was getting into. These witches, they don't trust any of that fancy, fancy magic. They deal with everything with their hands. And lasers. And laser beams. Yes they do. Laser beams. Simplest magic in the world. Crushing mice with their heels? That's not even magic at all. And paintings, which I don't. I don't know how painting. It was mentioned earlier how people liked the acting of the head witch, but legit that whole room of witches seriously did such a good job.

30:33 They were all so over the top. And all of them were women. Well, there were definitely some men dressed up because I think they were short on female actresses. Those men were giving it, though. They were. Yeah, the messaging of this movie really coincides well with our messaging of lookout for weirdos. Lookout for the woman with purple eyes, gloves square. Shoes. Wigs. Yeah, that's the asterisks after weirdos. That's just, yeah, everything that it entails. This is what a weirdo is. It's your longer witches.

31:07 Lookout for witches. What did people think about grandma? She's a terrible human being. The entire movie threw I was like, man, I do not like this woman. She had a. Cigar. That's as cool as it gets. So. Grandma. Is prone to randomly pass out, and I believe it's because, yeah, diabetes. There is a point in the movie where she athletes a hotel owner where she pours soup on a table and is like, yeah, I'm crazy. It's just terrible human being. I take back what I said, Grandma is the best. Poured soup on that table for no reason.

31:47 I was thinking she was going to be like, don't drink that soup, there's mice in the kitchen. The wife is afraid of mice. But no, instead she's going to pour the soup on the table and be like, I'm crazy. I believe in wishes. I guess that's to say, too, that the way they defeat all the witches in the end is that they pour this mouse formula into the soup that all the witches are eating. Tim, when these witches eat the soup, there's something that comes out of their bodies. What is that? John, methane gas is invisible.

32:20 No way it's invisible. The room turns green. No chance he's making a fart joke. He's trying, oh, a fart. Were they farting? Only if you. Those are the guys, John. Methane gas is invisible and also the hotel staff was not concerned about the green gas so. How? Are they? Concerned about the green gas? By the way, you're waiting all these elderly women and the women start belching green gas and vanishing, and then 70 mice are in their place. Some of the green gas was coming out of their. The mice when you squish them also splatter green.

32:57 Yep. Very. Green like fluorescent green Gatorade. Nickelodeon slime. It is green. It is Nickelodeon slime. That's a good. 1 turtle green. This movie in German is titled Hexen Hexen, which translates. Hexen. To witches practice witchcraft, and I just think that's a fun name for a movie. That's accurate. Title. That's accurate. Yes they do. I agree they can put out with me. I think that might be the best. Title. Ever. Not only does it sound cool, it's also entirely accurate. We should rename our podcast to people watching Stuff.

33:42 I actually felt like this was the kind of story that would lend itself well to a sequel because there's. No way that all the witches died. Well, and they get the little notebook. This is just the witches in England that died but they found the notebook of witches in America and so I think be a cool sequel for the grandma and Luke to go hunt some more witches and the head witch's death in this movie was off screen and not super concrete. They also. Made a big deal about her turning into a mouse that was.

34:12 Never dealt with. Kind of sad that Luke got turned back because I really wanted to watch Fivefold Ghost Witch Hunting.

34:23 Yeah, yeah. Bible in the Salem witch Trials. I absolutely want to see a mouse with a shotgun. Now, yeah, that would have been the best possible outcome. Roald Dahl's ghost. Hit me up, I'll write it. I'll write it. I need some. Divine intervention, but I can do it. So maybe let's hop over to closing John. Tell me how you feel about my repressed nostalgia. This was actually a real treat for me. This movie has 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. That honestly for good reason. Like it's a really cool story. I had never read that book as a kid but the story the world is neat.

35:04 I really like how the witches work. I think there was just enough 80s early 90s cheesiness in the delivery that was fun but also just a well told story. The Muppets and some of the acting was a ton of fun and if I had seen that as a kid I would have been really scared about being kidnapped ending up in my parents. Not right now. No, no, now that I watch horror movies on the regular, which has got nothing on me. He hasn't been bathing. He knows Tim, I didn't write a love letter for this one. Fair.

35:37 But I did go to mom and I told her about the movie that you had watched and she wasn't aware that you had seen in this movie. So I did request that she write a letter expressing how she felt about you watching this movie, but she declined to write 1. That's probably for the best because Mom has some severe revisionist history baked into all of our days now, so I I would not have been surprised if we saw this in theaters with her. So it's probably for the best that she didn't make me OK the villain for seeing this to.

36:16 Be fair, I do not think that she'd take you to a movie called The Witches. To. Be fair, this was when you were just born. You don't know that version of Mom. The version who wouldn't let you own bad guy toys, correct. OK. So overall? Really good. Thanks. Kai, how do you feel about my repressed nostalgia? The movie was, in fact, surprisingly better than I thought. We've already addressed the biggest issue in that the characters are not likable. And I think the moment that you add likable characters to a movie like this, that's a recipe for a much better movie.

36:56 I also think that there's a lot of like, Chekhov stuff that never gets dealt with the entire movie. They're forcing these hotel owners to set up mouse traps and then the mice are like step in the mousetrap and then that's the only time they interact with like I. Don't know in a movie. With. Mr. Bean, no one steps in a mousetrap. And even like the witches when they turn into mice just get stomped to death. Boring. Or stabbed with a giant butcher knife. Yeah. But yeah, that's all I have to say. I think it was pretty good.

37:27 Chancellor. Here's the thing with this movie, I think it suffers with some real identity issues. When you mentioned that a lot of stuff got cut because it was too scary, I could see how. That. Causes some real issues I'm going to do what John does and talk about a reality show I'm watching my wife and I really love a show called face off which is about visual effects artists people who do prosthetics like for a movie like this actually and one of the main thing on the show that people get critiqued for or often cost them is not having a good concept because if you don't have a good idea of what you're trying to do ultimately even if you do it technically sound you're not going to do anything interesting and this movie really suffers from that because as I was watching it the whole.

38:16 Time I was like, I don't. Know what kind of movie this is trying to be? Is this trying to be an interesting Jim Henson Fraggle Rock Weird stuff with the real world? Is it trying to be a scary movie for kids? Or is it trying to be slapstick in its silliness about a kid who turns into a mouse and bites off big ghouls? So I think this movie really is the opportunity to be special. But because, as you mentioned, that a lot of it was cut for being too scary, I feel like this movie dilutes itself with ambiguity.

38:48 So I think this could very easily be something like a four. But I think I'm going to give this one a -3 OK. I think it has some good notes. It's interesting to make fun of it. I think it possibly could even be good, but it's held back. That being said, there are some parts I do enjoy making fun of it given a -3. For people who don't remember or who are new listeners, the way Chances Scale works is he gives movies scores anywhere from -5 to plus five -5 being so bad it's good and five being so good it's good.

39:26 And so the closer you are to A5 in either direction tells you how much you'd enjoy that movie. You really want to be as far away from zero as possible, so a -3 seems like a worthwhile watch is what Chance is saying here. Yeah, I would say that 100% if you watch this movie, you will have a good time. Yeah, so for me, I don't even know what it was. Sometime in the last year or so, the witches just landed in my lap again and this flood of memories came back to me of me checking random women's eyes.

40:06 The Color Purple, which must have been very strange to mom and dad. Like this was happening on all your dates too. No, John, Mom and dad are not on my dates. I mean, as a child they would introduce friends of the family or whatever and I'd be in there nonchalantly trying to check their eye color. Very traumatic for me, obviously. And mom wouldn't give a comment, so you know that means she's real upset. I you know if I wasn't happily married and I had a dating profile I might put preferred not purple eyes just to see if someone will catch my witches reference.

40:52 Interesting. Would that be like a positive fact about a person? Yeah. Ohh, you know the witches Or ohh you know the witches? We didn't really speak to it, but another movie got made and I think it was 2020. Yes, with. And I was supposed to go to theaters and Anne Hathaway was playing the head witch this time around. But then the pandemic happened and it went straight to HBO Max. And I have not watched it, so I cannot tell you if it succeeds in the areas that Chance was concerned about, if it knows its identity or not.

41:28 Everyone's just trying to weaponize your nostalgia now, even your repressed nostalgias. So yeah, with that, we should chat a tiny bit about upcoming things. As we've mentioned in recent episodes, episode 50 is right around the corner, so please hop over to one of our socials and click the link to vote for what your favorite episodes have been. It's a head to head format, so you only need to pick between two episodes which one you liked more. If you don't have feelings on either episode or you didn't hear either of them, you can just skip to the next one and we'll try and share the data in our 50th episode.

42:19 And our next episode, as far as we know, will be the Chipmunk Adventure, which is one of my all time faves. I'm actually excited to go back to this one. Does anybody have anything they want to say before we close? Tim, where's the best place to watch the Chipmunk adventure? It is not available for streaming on the traditional sites, so a person may need to rent or purchase it for viewing unfortunately. But I can tell you straight up, it's a great movie. It'll have a great time. It's worth the $5 if you've got to rent it.

43:00 OK, look out for weirdos with chocolates and snakes and purple eyes. Look out for witches. Look out for witches. Look out for weirdos with square shoes and itchy scalps, and suspect paintings that happened to have a friend of yours in them. It's true, true, true, true, even if that friend is still also alive. And that's just like a painting that they got somebody to. Look out for weirdos who own the only candy shop in town or have a monopoly of candy shops. And who want to give you their candy for free?

43:32 And who have beaks with human faces? Is true, is true all. Right. Is that it? I can't think of anything else. Praise Beethoven. Praise Beethoven. Darn it, so close. Don't forget to breathe in and out.